mom

mother of
perpetual dishwater hands,
or rag and soap,
or lemon scented air and home made meals
where are you now
do you float beside yourself
constant reminder of who you should
be and were once
and need to be again
and i do.

i do need you to be her again,
wiping off scraped knees, then scorning me for
the tears,
i need someone to be hardened for me
i have no calluses
on my own hands,
and its hard to push off the ground.